Something Beautiful
They had something beautiful, but they kept breaking it, crushing it underfoot and grinding it into the asphalt like an old cigarette butt. They threw around words like daggers, stabbing and scratching and hurting each other because he could never let go of that doubt that the happiness they found was real. Something was always lurking around the corner, and it was because of that that everything always came crashing down.
Too many times he reached for his jacket, to leave, to go, to never come back because it hurt too much to wait for the day when he was left alone in that house. Surely it would hurt less if he left first.
“I shouldn’t have said anything on that damn plane ride,” Toshiro said, and Rune’s heart stopped because then it hurt to breathe, it hurt to think, of that future where the possibility never was, never happened. A future where there was no ‘we’ just ‘you’ and ‘I’.
Because happiness was so fleeting, love too often an inauthentic fake that shattered so easily under the pressure and strain of society and emotion, he never really thought they would stop hurting so easily, never really thought that they wouldn’t break again. Always harboring that doubt, the one that always led them back to this scene where they were held together once again by a single thread and one or the other wanted to leave just to make it hurt less.
His fingers were tight on the jacket. “Was it worth it?”
“I love you. Isn’t that enough? If you still want to leave, I won’t stop you.”
His throat closed up and he wanted so badly to be certain that it would hurt more to be away from him than to be with him but it never was, never would be. That thread was stronger than silk and less brittle than iron and he always found himself crushed against Toshiro’s chest, their tears and breaths intermingling between relieved kisses and hands searching for comfort and reassurance.
Only for them to hurt even more when the whole thing happened again.
But each time they put the pieces back together, they were held up by crystalline tears and broken heartstrings, to become something that was more breathtaking than before, more precious. The tears washed away the dirt and dust of distrust, to become something shining and clean. They’d break it again, but if they put it together, a little patience, love, maybe they could rekindle what they had again, because what they had was something beautiful.
This is the result of a rather heartwrenching RP between me and PK last night, for our respective muses Rune and Toshiro. They were having issues and I wrote this because the pain was so good it made me cry. God, I'm such a masochist.
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